LightDeprived

Archive for September, 2009

The general state of suspense floating around my head this week is, while positive in nature, also a pain.  Two things of a most important nature occupy my brain meats.  One is of a professional nature, the other is a matter of the heart (and/or libido.)

I await results from an application for a new job.  I have submitted a test to hopefully show my worthiness to their firm.  It has been many days, and for this I hope to be rewarded.  I need a new work-situation badly.

I also am resisting temptation to harass an acquaintance of mine regarding a query to her friend related to a small crush I might have.  This conversation of theirs should have happened by now… and I am anxious to know what came up.  Only silence exists.  Do I ask how things went and risk seeming too eager? Or do I wait and play the ‘cool guy’?

For now I wait.  They say patience is a virtue.  So is determination.  Being passive about such things has been my modus operandi thus far.  See how well that has worked?  Here is a hint, it hasn’t.   It’s a method of risk avoidance that offers little in the way of possible success.

Resolution: After I finish this blog post I will contact the acquaintance to inquire as to the results… if any.

– Update [2009-09-30 15:15] –
Still waiting for response…

I’m at work.  Given the title of this post you can probably tell that I’m not having a blast today.

Today’s WTFs include:

1. Failure to clearly communicate crucial logic. (All of X vs. Only X)
2. Failure to understand that Development should be done by the Development team
3. Failure to be able to download a file (that everyone else can)
4. Failure to Get the Fuck out! (thats me, still being here)
5. Failure to understand a Conflict of Interest, even when it hits you in the face
6. Failure to turn off the lights and turn on the alarm when you leave. (doesn’t matter that someone else was probably only 1 minute away from arriving back to the office)

Honestly, every day there is something else.  I could go on in length about the way this place is on its last legs, but I do want to try and keep this blog in the general range of ‘Happy’.

Here’s hoping that one or more of the Irons-In-The-Fire work out.

Each of us has an idea of who they are inside and out.  On the outside we have an appearance and behavior that we use to interact with the world and it’s how others see us.

Our outer self image is the concept of what you think you look like and are see to others, is a very visual and interactive self.  I don’t usually like getting my photo taken. This is because when I see the result I realize I don’t look like the image I have of myself in my mind.  In reality, i’m a little fatter than what I think I am.  I look a little too cuddly, and not stoic enough.  But that really doesn’t bother me much. I just avoid getting my picture taken.

Recently, I was the subject or model for a friend.  She is an amateur photographer and needed a model.  I thought I could help her out, and maybe work on my own insecurities on having my photo taken.  We had a blast taking photos and having photos taken respectively.   The shots turned out great.  Shelly you really out did yourself.

The inner self image is different.  It is the way you think you are on the inside.  For some people they are the same inside and out.  The way they behave is truly who they are.  However most of us have a self that is secret to others, that we keep quiet and hidden away to most everyone.  This hidden self influences our outer behavior and directs us in ways we might not understand.  For this reason I feel it is very important to discover my own true inner self.  Much of my own personal growth over the last years has been a result of me finding truths about myself.

Given that, I find it interesting when a friend expresses that they have made a discovery about their true inner self.  I would like to think that their discover can lead them toward a new understanding of their own behaviors and possibly… just maybe… be able to start positive change in their life.

A friend recently, as in today, came to the understanding that he is “too fucked up” to have anyone else in his life right now.  For this I’m very certain he meant it in a romantic sense.  In this case, having tangentially observed his recent attempts at relationships with females, he is right.  My opinion is that he has some serious mental house keeping and toss out some trash, prepare a clean space and let things settle.

Additionally this save fellow has decided he is far too judgmental towards other people and their life choices.  For this I know he is correct, and that he finally figured this out.  I only hope that this can lead to more thought spent on why other people make the decisions they do.  I hope that this might lead towards a greater sense of empathy.  Something that will help him with all his future relationships.

I wish my friend luck.  I hope he can profit (emotionally) by this experience.  That he can gain a greater knowledge of his inner self.

I’m looking at my calendar now for the upcoming week.  It looks pretty empty, especially compared to last week.  Things pick up again around the weekend when I head back to Red Deer to to visit the folks and to partake in the celebration of a friend’s birthday!

This weekend was a busy one (as was the last week.)  Saturday was one part hangover recovery from the fun times had on Friday, one part visiting with friends, and one part Calgary Philharmonic Orchestra.  It was a great day!  Continuing onto Sunday’s epic sleep in (rolling out of bed after 8:30 am is epic for me,) then a day of doing dishes and laundry and playing Little Big Planet, then off to Audra’s for a BBQ and trivia games!

I was also kicked and punched by an 5 year old.  I still maintain that I could have kicked his ass.  At least I’m pretty sure.

Here’s looking forward to a week where I might be able to catch up on some household cleaning. Getting my room clean, laundry done, finish up the kitchen… and maybe, just maybe tackle my bathroom.

Well Success, kinda

I managed to not get nasty drunk.  The strange looks for when I ordered a beer and a coffee were worth it to.  I managed to NOT spill my Muff-Dive shot this year! To the best of my knowledge no one got hurt. Highlights are: people talking about mortgages on one side of the table, and people talking about sex trade shows on the other, revelations that sometimes Yes meant Yes, and that maybe it still does (there might be some interesting fallout on that one,) and just having some awesome friends!

Right now, I’m in my room waiting for friends to wake up.  JW has relocated from his couch in the living room to his bedroom so I don’t expect to see  him any time this morning.  Rob is still sleeping on my couch in the living room to the best of my knowledge.  I should probably go check on him.

A big thanks to the people who came, Thanks! And a big thanks to the guys from red deer who sent a gift card for books!  YAY READING!

Celebration!

Tonight some friends of mine are gathering at a pub to celebrate my birthday (that was on Tuesday) and guess what?  I’m invited!

From Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/September_22

September 22 is the 265th day of the year (266th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. There are 100 days remaining until the end of the year.

It is frequently the day of the Autumnal Equinox in the Northern Hemisphere, and the Vernal Equinox in the Southern Hemisphere.

There are a few people out there that share this as a birthday.  One I would like to point out is http://www.tinynibbles.com Violet Blue.  Yep its a sexy blog.  Get over it

I’m not planning on allowing myself to get too very drunk this evening. This is because I haven’t enjoyed being very drunk in a long time.  Possibly I haven’t ever liked it.  I also have things I want to do this weekend aside from nursing a killer hangover.

<drama> Will Ryan stay somewhat sober?!  Will his friends defeat his defenses? Will Margie ever tell Philip how she really feels?!  Stay tuned for the next episode of Days of Your Spies</drama>

…

What?! Don’t judge me!

Take a look at this guy! I found him (or her) after coming home from work yesterday.  He was sleeping there just in the corner on the door step of my condo.  He was alive, I checked.  I dangled some keys on him not wanting to use my finger.  His response was to open his mouth, hiss a little and generally show me that he means business and is not an Hombre to be messed with.  So cute.

I think he was just here for a nap in the cool shaded area that doesn’t get daytime sunlight.  When I returned later in the evening, well past my bed time, he was gone.  I hope that his next nap-spot is a little safer and as winter comes, maybe he will have some friends to stay warm with.